Inside Depression

Depression is a locked door from the inside.

It's a dirty look in passing.

A suffocating wake of hurt and pain- with no inception, and what seems like no end.

Depression is not communal.

It's not something openly understood or accepted.

It's solitude- in every capacity of the term. 

Life is one less pill consumed;

One cut too shallow;

One rope too weak;

One jump not high enough.

Life is a culmination of missed signs, tears not seen, suffering hidden in that locked door from inside.

Depression is a battle never won.

It lingers your entire life- patiently waiting for a wavering chemical imbalance paired with less than ideal life circumstances.

Depression chokes you when you're already gasping for air.

It kicks you in the side when you're already bleeding internally.

It is undoubtedly, irrevocably, incapable of showing mercy.

Depression does not see its aftermath.

It does not take into account the brand it burns into the world- the irremovable scalding heat that cannot be forgotten.

Depression sees no future- therefore it cannot take into account any repercussions it may cause.

Depression has blinders on both eyes running down a track that has no finish line.

Depression is a selfish disease that knows no other life but it's own.

In depression there is no one else.

In depression there is no future.

In depression there is no reason, no rationale, no justification.

Depression is a locked door from the inside. 

With no windows and no key.

The bright light is the most appealing sight it has ever seen.

One moment, one decision- and you're free.

Depression doesn't see years, it sees minutes.

Depression doesn't see rocking chairs, it sees a hospital bed.

Depression doesn't see friends and caring hearts, it sees judging eyes who can't possibly understand.

Depression is the loneliest place.

But no one tells depression what waits for it if it holds on just a little longer.

Depression does not know patience, and what HOPE there is in temperance.

In depression there is only one tangible way out.

Depression is a disease of this world that cannot be cured by this world.

The only cure for depression is JOY and the only place JOY exists is in the undying love and saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Depression cannot comprehend unconditional love.

But depression cannot exist in the midst of holiness.

Holiness is not self-sufficient- it needs a source; and the only source is not of this world.

Depression looks to this world for relief and that's what it thinks it finds in death.

Depression is a daily battle between what is good and what is not.

It's easy to look onto depression and tell it what is awry, but it's not as apparent in it's own depths.

Judgement manifests within and without depression.

It's a fuel to the never-ending fire.

Stop feeding the flames.

Depression cannot be understood unless you're sitting in the locked room with it.

But that room is small, and dark, and uninviting.

Unless you're there you cannot possibly comprehend.

And unless you have known joy prior it's difficult to fathom.

From someone who has been in that room, from someone who has failed to escape by my own hands, and from someone who was freed, not by worldly medicine, but by the key of the intangible One who FREES and gives JOY. 

There is more than just one way out,

And it involves a LIFE you have to live to believe. 

A better place awaits, and it's attainable without having to close your eyes forever.

xoRO